So, along with the other collections, I will be writing for this year.
Welcome to the Halloween special!! And ya all know how much I loves me my Halloween 🙂
As usual, I will be writing from a different POV. Something to make people really think about how they view fairy tales, villian’s and Hero’s. It has already been likened to the Discworld series.
It will be titled: Unhappily Ever After A Villain’s Tale.
I just had that door fixed and some two bit hero breaks in and tries to attack me. Raids all my supplies and runs off. Crying how hard done by he is. Damn heros and their happily ever after bullshit and their endless leggy blonde bimbos that they save. What self respecting woman needs rescuing every ten seconds?
Girl, get off your ass and save yourself. Why on earth wait around for a man to validate your existence? Then you only end up moping around while he goes to war. Thinking of babies and singing happy little silly songs to a bunch of random wild life that couldn’t care less of your vocals.
Do you have no ambition at all in your life? Love, babies, happily ever after and making tapestries while Nanny and the Fairy Godmother raise your 18 sprogs? Eww, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than that.
I really should start charging Heros for my front door repairs. It is getting annoying now. Or I might just feed the next prince to my dragon. See how they feel about breaking and entering then! Oh, but of course THEN I am the evil wicked witch because I dared to defend myself! And then it is with the pitchforks and the burning. Like I’m the daughter of Lucifer or something.
Well, technically, he is my father, but that is besides the point. All I’m doing is defending myself, but who’s side do they take? The Hero’s of course! There was this sweet old lady, kind dear. She lived up at number 47. Baked for the children all day every day, missing her grandchildren who died in the troll war. Gingerbread, cakes, cookies. The two ungrateful little brats tried to cook her in her own oven!
What is this world coming to when you can’t even do a good deed without almost ending up burnt alive? The neighbourhood has gone right down since they woke that girl who kept snoring. Dreadful racket she used to make every day. You could hear her right in my back yard, a good five miles from that there castle. Proper ruined my afternoon cup of newt tea. Couldn’t focus on anything.
I swear if I get my door smashed in one more time this week, I will pack up my hovel and move somewhere that Hero’s can’t find me! About time an old woman got some peace and quiet.
There, that’s it. All mended now. That is a good piece of spell casting, even if I say so myself. That should keep them out. Now, time for some nettle cake and a foot bath I think. It has been a long day.
“Open up you evil old hag, I know you took that child right from her bed last night. Give her back or I will burn you alive in this stinking hovel!”
Here we go again!
Another thing to be blamed for. Doesn’t matter that the wood elves spirited the girl away at early dawn. Oh no, it has to be the wicked witch, of course. Stinking hovel? Well, maybe I could catch up on my cleaning if I wasn’t always chasing away intruders and mending my blasted door. Young people today!